_,,_ ____,,_ Ãδ ____, _,,_ ____,,_ ___ ¿Î³TY³ÎÃÎγTY³ÎÃÎ ÃÎγT¿Î³TY³ÎÃÎγTY³ÎÃδ ÚÒ¿ jÎF 7ÎÎÎÅ 7ÎÎδ ÃÎÅ jÎF 7ÎÎÎF 7ÎÎδ Ãδ :Qlmmmmmmt¥¥¥´ ;ÎÎÎÅ Ãδ :ÎL tÎÎÎL tÎÎÎÅ Åδ ³³³ ÙQ³É¿ ÕË´ ;δÙQ³ÉÂÂÅδ ÙQ³É»³QÀÅÎγÉ»³QÊÊÊQ³É»³Qδ Ìι `~~ `~~~~~ `~~` Ãδ `~~` `~~` ÅÎ: ``` entropy; issue #1. Ôʾ Ä¿ ÄÄÂÄÂÂÒÂÒÒÒ»³QÀ ~ ~ ~~~~~` ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | INTRODUCTION. ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ welcome to issue #1 of ENTROPY, which has been so painstakingly created for you (the reader) by myself (the author). chances are, you don't want to read a lengthy introduction. furthermore, it is also likely that you don't even want to read any even re- motely lengthy introductions. perhaps you downloaded this expecting drawings, or because it's got my name on it, or simply because i e-mailed it to you. or whatever. one way or another, if you didn't open this file in order to read things... TOO FUCKING BAD. upon opening this file, you have essentially signed a contract between your- self (again, the reader) and myself (to reiterate, the author) which LEGALLY REQUIRES YOU to read a minimum of 75% of the text within. don't want to read? fine. see what i care when vito shows up at your house to crack your fucking skull. ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ LITERARY JUSTIFICATION ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ OF THE USE OF THE WORD ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | "FUCK" IN WHAT IS ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : OTHERWISE LOQUACIOUS ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù PROSE. . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ i use the word "fuck", and many derivations of the word "fuck", fairly freq- uently. you may or may not have noticed this. the reason for this is fairly cut-and-dry; it gets a point across like no oth- er word possibly could. for example, when used to accentuate an adjective (i.e. "that's fucking brill- iant"), "fuck" adds a caustic, sarcastic tone which no other modifier could ever hope to achieve. it's the absolute in terms of a cutting, biting tone. it is also a very insulting word. this is a positive aspect, in that i feel insults to be among the highest forms of artistic conversation (and written narrative; if you don't believe me, check out j.d. salinger's _franny and zooey_). third, "fuck" in its verb tense has a far more detached, emotionless (not to mention kinetic) connotation than does any other equivalent (e.g. "intercourse" "coitus", or "lovemaking"). you don't fuck somebody you care about (see foot- note). anonymous, intoxicated randoms get FUCKED - girlfriends and loved ones (like, significant others...not siblings) have sex with you (if you're a real nerd, you might even "make love" to them. i've never known anyone to do that [or, if they did, to admit it in public]). sex is slow, romantic, and emotion- al - FUCKING is carnality, pornography, perversion. it's the difference be- tween taking it slow and taking it in the ass. in conclusion, i feel that this piece should provide a valid literary argument (or excuse, as it were) for my somewhat frequent use of vulgarity in my wri- ting. you prune-fucking imbecile. * FOOTNOTE: you don't fuck somebody that you care about...AT THE TIME. in retrospect, however (especially in "guy talks"); when the emotion is a thing of the past; you'll probably state that you did, in fact, FUCK them. this is, in my eyes, morally acceptable. ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ LONG-TERM IM- ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | PLICATIONS OF HAVING ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : GONE UNDER THE KNIFE ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ "By my calculations, I haven't gone to sleep before midnight on any given night, regardless of what time I had to be awake the following morning, since I had my surgery. "God, that's weird. "...or is it? Perhaps my surgery actually _explains_ my insomnia. "Perhaps, while anaesthized and oblivious to that which went on out- and even INside my own body, a tiny microchip was implanted in my brain (presumably via my nostrils...close scalp examinations have revealed no detectable surgical scars whatsoever [much to my chagrin, might i add]) which detected drowsiness in my system and promply overrode my bodily functions, ordering my brain and hormones to secrete chemicals such as adrenalin in order to keep me awake! "If that's the case, then there's no wonder why I'm always so nervous and paranoid all of the time, or why i shake constantly!" said Pat, at 1:00 on a Thursday morning, at a twenty four hour restaurant, while drinking coffee by the potful. "There's just no other logical explanation." ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | DAN LOWDER'S EDU- ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : CATIONIAL CORNER. ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ this marks the first installment of DAN LOWDER'S EDUCATIONAL CORNER, a semi- informative segment of ENTROPY in which my roommate, dan lowder, will offer some of his vast intelligence (involuntarily) via his class notes, which have been stolen and subsequently typed out for your benefit by me. this installment of DAN LOWDER'S EDUCATIONAL CORNER features a page of notes, typed entirely verbatim, from dan's "severe and unusual weather" class. any questions, comments, or discrepancies may be adressed directly to dan at lowder@uiuc.edu. NOW GET YOUR LEARN ON. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ www.wunderground.com _millibars_: 14.7 lb/iný = 29.92 in Hg = 1013.25 mb in Hg ³ mb 32.01 ³ 1084 - Highest sea level pressure ever (siberia) recorded 30.86 ³ 1045 - High pressure 29.92 ³ 1013 - Normal 28.94 ³ 980 - Low pressure 25.70 ³ 870 - Lowest sea level pressure ever recorded (typhoon) ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ 136ø F - WORLD RECORD FOR HEAT (REC'D 1922) ³ ³ 135ø F - 2ND - DEATH VALLEY, CA (1936) ³ ³ ³ ³ -129ø F - WORLD RECORD ( ³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ _PRESSURES:_ _DECODING ÚÄ PRESSURE - ³ ³ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ³ 68 ³042³<ÄÄÄ PRESSURE VALUE ³ ÀÄÄÄÙ ³ '`' ³ `'` ³ ³ ÚÄÄÄ If < 500, ADD 10 IN FRONT & PUT DECIMAL PT. ÀÄÄ´ BEFORE LAST DIGIT ( 1004.2) ³ ÀÄÄÄ If > 500, ADD 9 IN FRONT & DECIMAL ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Dan and I hope that this helps. ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | DRINKING COFFEE MAKES ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : YOU A GOD AMONG MEN. ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ yeah, i drink a lot of coffee. it sort of runs in my family. over the years, i've noticed many benefits to this noble habit. observe: 1.) IT MAKES YOU SMARTER. now coffee has not directly made me into an overnight Einstein. however, caffiene is a stimulant. stimulants increase bloodflow. as your bloodflow in- creases, your brain recieves more oxygen. as your brain recieves more oxygen, it gets happier. coincidentally, i drink coffee while doing homework. i'm a lot more recep- tive to knowledge, given that i've got a HAPPY BRAIN. not only does coffee assist my comprehension, but it also aids in my reading speed, as my eyes dart uncontrollably across the page. 2.) IT MAKES YOU MORE PRODUCTIVE. coffee is the antidote for sleep. sleep is nothing more than a monumental waste of time (read "sleep = waste", found in adrian tomine's collection _sleepwalk_, for further details). a sleeping human can accomplish far more than can a sleeping human, i.e.:  HOMEWORK  READING  SITTING ON IRC, WATCHING OTHERS WHO ARE ASLEEP IDLE  MASTURBATION and so on. 3.) IT MAKES YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX. sit at a restaurant. watch the coffee-drinking loner (there's always at least one, provided you don't go to nice restaurants) and all the beautiful women who approach him. it's utterly inspiring. for example, just last night, a girl came up to me and asked the tell-all question: "are you straight?" (referring to sexual orientation.) shit, i'm fucking irresistable. 4.) YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT INTERESTING "WAR STORIES" TO TELL not a day goes by in which you don't hear some zany story about someone's ex- periences while under the influence of caffiene. oh, wait. that's alcohol. never mind. ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | HINTS ON GETTING ALONG ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : WITH PAT HAJDUCH - ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù FOR GIRLS . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ now, some of you may be concerned with your ability to maintain a long-term friendship or relationship with me. hence, i have drawn up this convenient list of what to (and not to) do in order to remain my compadr‚, as it were. 1.) TALK TO ME. I CANNOT READ YOUR FUCKING MIND note that i say talk "TO" me, and not "TALK TO PEOPLE WHO WILL CONVOLUTE AND FUCK UP YOUR MESSAGE AND DELIVER IT TO ME IN SOME 6TH GRADE, TELEPHONE-TREE SORT OF MANNER". things to come DIRECTLY TO ME about include:  WANTING TO BREAK UP WITH ME  FALLING IN LOVE / BEING ATTRACTED TO ME  THINKING THAT I HATE YOU  WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF WHILE GOING OUT WITH ME (SEE FOOTNOTE) and so on. you know - important shit. some messages are acceptable for inter-acquaintance transfer: for example, it is your annoying friend's birth- day. this brings me to point #2: 2.) LEAVE YOUR STUPID, ANNOYING FRIENDS AT HOME this is pointed more towards girls who fit in the "relationship" category, but is generally a rule of thumb, seeing as i probably don't like your friends (provided i wasn't friends with them before we met). see, YOU AND I are hanging out - not YOU, ME AND AT LEAST ONE CLINGY, CHATTY IDIOT WHOSE PRESENCE I CLEARLY RESENT. i probably ditched MY friends to hang out with you; hence, don't allow your moron tag-alongs to come out with us. 3.) DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME this is inevitably a tragic situation, and one you'd rather not touch. you may think i'm "THE ONE" or what have you, but trust me: I'M NOT. YOU MADE A MISTAKE. however, these tragedies do occur, and when they do, please refer to point #1. furthermore... 4.) IF YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH ME, AND IT'S NOT REALLY RECIPROCATED (i.e. we're not even going out, we went out and broke up already, etc.) THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT seriously. cut your losses, i'll still try to be your goddamned friend; act- ually, in many cases i'd rather be your friend than your mate in the first place. i'm not the only guy in the world. HEAR THAT? I'M NOT THE ONLY GUY IN THE WORLD okay. now repeat that to yourself until it gets into your fucking head. 5.) IF I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, THEN LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE it's really not that hard. if i say that i want to be by myself (i'm tired, i'm pissed off, or what have you), i probably mean it. this means:  YOU CAN'T FOLLOW ME HOME FROM WORK AND SUBSEQUENTLY BEG FOR ME TO LET YOU INTO MY HOUSE UNDER THE GUISE OF "JUST WANTING TO TALK" AND SUBSEQ- UENTLY GUILT-TRIP ME INTO FUCKING YOU.  YOU SHOULDN'T SHOW UP PLACES THAT YOU KNOW I GO TO IN ORDER TO BE ALONE. I AM OBVIOUSLY THERE IN ORDER TO BE __ALONE__.  IF I'M AT HOME, DON'T CALL ME EVERY TEN MINUTES TO RE-ASK ME TO COME OUT. DON'T SHOW UP AT MY DOOR WITH CUTESY LITTLE GIFTS, EITHER. I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE - HAD I WANTED TO BE PERPETUALLY PESTERED AND IRRITATED, I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR THAT, INSTEAD. and finally: 6.) DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE YOUR PERSONAL PSYCHOLOGIST, BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING BASKETCASE MYSELF. this is pretty self-explanatory. watch out with this one, because if you come to me for help, you'll probably wind up more fucked up than you were in the first place. * FOOTNOTE: i mention telling me if you feel like killing yourself "while we're going out." keep it to yourself if we don't hang out anymore; don't turn into some sort of melodramatic weirdo. nobody appreciates that. ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | EVERY AUTHOR WANTS NO- ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : THING MORE THAN TO BE ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù PUBLISHED. . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ the following text is a letter i wrote in my creative writing class. first, let me tell you that my creative writing class was the most shameful nonsense ever to be labeled "creative" (and this includes bot Dave Matthews AND Sinbad). my teacher was one of the most wrathful, vengeant she-demon i've ever encountered. (well...) regardless, we were required as an assignment to write a query letter and art- icle for any given magazine and were REQUIRED TO SUBMIT IT. THAT'S RIGHT. obviously enough, my query letter (i never got around to writing the actual article) flew out to the largest source of hip-hop news on the planet, THE SOURCE. observe: ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ NEIL O'FLANAGAN EDITOR THE SOURCE Neil - A tall, green MC steps up to the mic. "One, two," he calls out. From there begins a soulful, bootylicious evening - as hosted by the Photosynthetic MCs. Over the last few years, rap's biggest new underground talents have come not from the Earth's fauna, but rather from it's flora. Plant rappers, such as the "gangsta" styled solo MC Venuz Fly-Trapp to hip-hop supergroup the Intergal- actic Cactus Connection, bring their mean, green styles like none other. I propose a 3,000 word article documenting the rise of hip-hop amongst vege- tation - including local scene reports, rising stars, and record labels - such as Los Angeles' Pesticide Studios. I am a high-school student and experienced liar. My talent at fabrication of entirely idiotic concepts knows no bounds. I hope to hear from you soon! Fondly, Pat Hajduch ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ POST-SCRIPT: neither the source, nor its fictional editor Neil O'Flanagan, ever gave any sort of response whatsoever. on top of that, my creative writing teacher practically failed me in what was commonly known as a "grade booster" class. ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | WITNESS, AS MY POETIC ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : FINESSE MANIFESTS IT- ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù SELF. . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ Hi. I haven't written anything in a long while. So, anyhow, to follow a tradition begun years ago with Warpus' incredible Warp Zine, I present to you, the reader: FUNNY POETRY! HAIKU #1 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Hi, My name's Jesus! This haiku was really built around the first line. A POLITE REQUEST ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ "Please, guys, just leave me alone," said Pauly Shore while being kicked in the face HAIKU #2 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Gentle waves wash me along the sunny shoreline. Being sand is gay HAIKU #3 (THE HUMBLE BEGINNINGS OF THE JACKSON FIVE) ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ A humble Gary, (Tito, go fetch me a switch) Indiana home. IN DEFENSE OF A NOBLE LIFESTYLE ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ "Please, tough looking drunk guys. Don't beat me up just because I choose to dress like a woman." HAIKU #4 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ I stand, majestic. I'll stomp your fucking ass, 'cause i'm an elephant HAIKU #5 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ By the liquor store, kicking dope-ass freestyles with my man, the RZA. HAIKU #6 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ "I'm way too god-damned old to be worthwhile," said Bob Dole, gun to his head HAIKU #7 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ You are mistaken. Despite your statements, the han- dicapped ARE funny. HAIKU #9 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ In countless houses, in homes across the nation, props are being kicked. PLANET REEBOK ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Life is short - End it now. ...Thank you. ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | OBLIGATORY FUNNY ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : QUOTES SECTION ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ We've all seen it before: the art scene magazine standard, the "random quotes" section. However, I'm going to break format a bit. First off, these aren't IRC quotes (unless I manage to find some). They're real-life quotes which I happened to write down. Second off, I am not your ordinary art scene magazine writer. I am an egoma- niacal spastic with a dream. Hence, approximately ninety percent of the quotes herein will be my own, primarily due to the fact that I'm funnier and generally more interesting than everyone I know or meet. Anyhow, here goes. "Funny quotes." Oh, god. ùùù "I've never been mooned by a girl. I fancy I'd commence masturbating im- mediately." - Me ùùù "It's my unalienable right to hate everyone I see." - Me, in halls of school NOTE: The above quotes are from an old journal and a different, more cynical Pat. Proceed as normal. ùùù "People's opinions give me a headache." - Me ùùù "You make lepers sound like zombies." - Me, to friend Tom ùùù "That's different; that's date rape. She was asking for it." - My friend, Brett ùùù "The key to being prolific in your creativity lies in lowering your standards to the point of non-existance." - Me ùùù "There are two things you can do here [The University of Illinois] in order to have fun on the weekends: You can drink, or you can leave." - Me ùùù "ROAR." - Gigantic mutant bear ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ» ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ ³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ ; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | I DON'T NEED TO TAKE ` ù ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : THIS; SCREW YOU, I'M ' ; ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù GOING HOME . . , ` ³ ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ ³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³ That's about it. We are currently on line 580, according to Sinned Soul's calculations as dis- played at the top of the ACiD Draw editor screen. (Note: for every mention I make to ACiD Productions [or pHluid, Remorse 1981, www.acid.org, ACiD Productions Gear {new hoodies out soon!!!}, the RadCam web site, the ACiD Artpacks Archive, or any other ACiD Productions - related pro- ject], RaD Man [ACiD Productions' founder] has agreed to pay me a small adver- tisement fee for a "product placement" of sorts. "It's all about getting rec- ognition, and having the ACiD Productions name out there," says the modest-yet- ruggedly-handsome Christian Wirth. "I mean, without advertisement, who would even remember us as the people behind the wildly popular ANSI/ASCII/XBIN/BIN/ VGA viewer, ACiDView?" I encouraged him; he was drunk at the time. And my lawyer informs me that regardless of blood alcohol content, a legal binding contract remains as such.) So, in conclusion, I say this: thank you for paying attention, loyal reader. I really appreciate the fact that you read all of this, even though I probably managed to personally insult you on several levels repeatedly (often sublimin- ally, might I add). I figure that you're a thin-skinned Nancy-boy enough that you'll be too much of a femme to say anything to my face, anyhow. See you next time! HAJI. hajduch@uiuc.edu