ÜÛÛÛÜ Ü ÜÜÜ ÜÛÜ ÜÛÛÜÜ ÜÜÜ ÜÛ²ÛÜßÛ²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜÜÜ ÜÜÛÛÛÜ ÜÛß²ÛÛßß ÜÜÜÛÛßÜÜÛÛÛß ß ÞÛÛÛÛÜßÛß ßÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ ßÛßÜÛ ßßßÜßÛßßßÜ ßÛßÜÛÛÜßÛßÜ ÛÛÛ ßÛß ÜÜÛÛÛÛÛßÜÛÛ ÜÜ ÜÛÛ ÛÛÛÜß Ü² ÞÛÛÛ ²ÛÛßßÜÜÛÛÝ ²Û ÜÛÛ ßÜÛß ÛÛÝ ²Û ÛÛÛ ÜÜÛÛÛÛ²ÛÛßÜÞÛÛÛ ²ÛÞÝÛ² ÛÛÛÛ ÜÛÛÛ ßßßßÛÜÜÜßß²ÛÛÛ ÛÛ ßÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ²ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÛ ßÛßÜ ß²ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÛÛ ßÛÛ ÛÛÛÝ ÛÛÛÞÛÛÛ² ÛÛÛÛÝÞ²ÛÛ ÜÛÛ ²ÛÛÝÞÛÛ ÛÛÝÜÛÛ ÛÛÛÝ ß ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ßÛÛÛÛ ßÛÛÛÛßÜÜÛÛÛÛ ßÛÛÛܲÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÜßßßÛÛÜßÛÛÛÝ ßÛ ÜÛß ßß ÛÛÛÛ Ü ÞÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ ßÜ ß ßÛÛÜ ßßÛÛÛßßÜßß ß ßÜ ßßÛÜßÜßß ßßßÛÛÛÝ ÜÛÛÜÜßÛÛÛÛßÜÛÜ ÛÛÜÛÛÛ JDaniels ßß ÜÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜÛÛÜÛÛÛÛÛÜ ßÛßß ßßßßßÛÛÛÛßßß ß ---=[ Table of Contents ]=----------------------------------------------------- 1. Editorials A. "So we took a little break..." - Lurch (apd@openix.com) B. "Here we are again" - Lester (aglover@ix.netcom.com) 2. Articles A. "Utilities - Download at your own risk" - Swamper () B. "Not as if there's not enough couriering groups.." - Silent Mobius () C. "Loyalty?" - Lester (aglover@ix.netcom.com) D. "The Theft of resources" - Lester (aglover@ix.netcom.com) 3. Rumors 4. Reviews A. Games On Review - Jag-o and Ventor B. Mail-in reviews - E-mails 5. Closing A. "Cya in the next issue" - Lurch (apd@openix.com) B. "Contacting INQuisition" ---=[ Editorial - So we took a little break... (Lurch[apd@openix.com]) ]=------ First we began everyone's favorite, Week In Warez. And the time were great and the scene a joyful place. And then the days of INQuisition came. We wanted to bring you the best mag there is - and we did. But times were tough, and time scarce, and alas, we took a break. And darkness fell upon the scene, and the minds became deformed and void. But a spark still shone, still remained, and indeed - WE ARE BACK. And guess what? We're gonna kick ass again! If there is news or opinions that you have and wish to share with the rest of the scene, please feel free to write in to us. We also welcome all comments, suggestions, etc... If requested, any submission will remain totally anonymous. From now on we will favor opinions regarding included articles. We like discussing things - that's why we waste so much time on IRC. Unfortunately you can't type in 5 paragraphs on IRC and have people still pay attention to you, not to mention not getting kicked by the bots - so here is a great alternative for you all. Enjoy. You may e-mail subscribe to INQuisition by mailing apd@openix.com, you can also indulge in reading INQuisition on the world wide web by pointing your favorite browser to HTTP://WWW.OPENIX.COM/~apd/inq. You can also always find a copy of any, including the latest, INQuisitions by FTPing to landslide.openix.com port 1234 login INQ password . - Lurch [Inquisition Editor] ---=[ Editorial - Here we are again (Lester[aglover@ix.netcom.com]) ]=--------- Well well well. Here we are again. Inquisition is back, the best e-mag to arrive on the scene, sure there have been many imitations, such as Defacto, RCN, and misc. others. But none have had the mass following and in depth reporting, interviews and overall quality that INQ had in it's day. So if you're tired of getting a virus for wanting to read the magazine, or of hearing the Tklp updates,or finding out what the new courier group of the week is - INQ is here. - Lester [Inquisition Editor] ---=[ Articles - Utilities-Download at your own risk (Swamper[]) ]=------------ For any of you who actually bother to read the .NFO's included with most utilities released these days, you often won't find much. All nfos usually rate the software as a 9/10, the platform it's to be used on (Win95/WinNT/OS2/DOS/Win3.x), and stuff regarding Serial # or cracking info. But, there is a severe oversight by most UTILS groups when it comes to trying to describe the program that is being released. This usually happens because the person packaging it is either an idiot or illiterate, usually a mixture of the two is a safe bet. Now, what you see below is representative of what i'm referring to: To Install unzip and run the setup.exe! Not that hard for of you idiots out there! Gee.. Now that tells me a ton about the program. I dunno about you, but when I download something that's 17 disks I at least want a hint about what the thing is about. I install all major utils that are for win95/DOS and that aren't betas. And I can tell you that about 60% of the stuff doesn't have adequate NFOS. PWA/DOD/MTY/UCF are groups that know how to describe their releases (most of the time), but I've seen lots of instances where the smaller groups just don't care. For instance, yesterday I tried out WebWorks for Win95, I forget who released it, but the important issue here is that there was NOTHING in the .nfo telling me that I required FrameMaker v4.0 to be installed before this thing would be of use to me. It's not the first instance this has happened, I've seen groups neglect to mention that a certain program requires a specific WIN NT version in order to work. One thing I really loved last week was seeing "Perly's 1996 Toronto Map CD Update" (30+ Disks) released, too bad the original release didn't work, otherwise this thing might actually be useful to someone who can't afford a map. Here's a TIP for everyone, both pirates and releasers, go to http://www.softchoice.com and look up the software you're releasing, and if you're too lazy to read the readme.txt from the release or fiddle with the program for 5 minutes then at least take the description that this store gives ya. If even tells you what you require in order to run it, as well as the cost of the program and the latest version that's out. Quality.. Yes I know this is a rather subjective topic but I figured I'd touch upon it lightly. It would seem that anything is viable as a release, as long as it isn't a dupe. Well, while this might be true it leaves a wide gap through which total SHIT seeps through. For instance, BOOK CD-ROMS, these cdroms are there to accompany the book, if you don't have the damn book the cd's are usually useless. Then there's the famous windows app that only consists of .AVI'S and BMPS/GIFS/JPGS, usually disguised as a "Graphics Add-On" for something, and since they're in the damn arj's you're forced to download this thing only to watch each ARJ file append and end in a massive 60 meg .AVI file (ATA'S 3D Atlas for Win95). This was never a problem a couple of years ago, it's only been since the Internet was used to trade software that this has become a daily event. Now every 13 year old kid whose father brings home some new package from work can be a supplier and dump stuff on a site for credits. Ah yes, sites. It's become so bad that certain groups don't even COMPRESS their zips so as to make their release about 35% bigger (RL-*.ZIP). Ya see, couriers are often not to blame, they spread the stuff as soon as they see it, and it only gets nuked within the next couple of hours. However, during this time it's already started to be spread to the top world boards and before you know it a fake release packaged by Mr. #warez666 is spread everywhere. It's almost impossible to come out with a UTILS Review (similar to the way Ionizer does one for Games), only because of the sheer magnitude of things that get released. Especially with the large meggages of these things. I thought of it for a while, but then figured I'd need at least 20 people with access to the new software and the patience to sort through the shit and find something of use. In the end what you put into the scene is what you'll get out of it, it's just like dropping litter in a subway, you see one guy do it so you figure, "Hey, I can do that too I guess". And before you know it you have crap everywhere, and in the warez scene we have more couriers than we have good janitors, unfortunately. Swamper. ---=[ Articles - Couriering groups (Silent Mobius[]) ]=------------------------ Not as if there's not enough couriering groups already... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The couriering/trading scene is getting larger now, with the creation of new groups, new traders coming in and old traders going out. But the problem is, getting larger does not mean getting better; way too many new groups are coming in and out of the scene in just a matter of a few months. For example, just out of the back of my head right now, i can list out quite a lot : NGT, NVC, PTA, TAC, EMPIRE, LGT, DEVOTION, GUILD, QUANTUM, FATE, RTS, and in the higher ranks of couriering, RISC, AMN and EVERLAST. Now out of ALL those groups, how many do you think are really contributing a great amount of work into the scene? The answer is, every single one of them. But the thing that distinguishes them from each other is knowledge/dedication/skill; I can bet my booties that one net courier from RISC/AMN could probably out courier 2 or 3 of the lower ranked groups, and that is a fact (no offense intended to anyone). What the couriering scene needs now is more groups that stay in for more than 6 months, and a group that is willing to compete and work hard; those are the kinds of groups that will help spread releases faster and eventually achieve success. What the couriering scene does not need are more couriering groups. Being a leader of DGt, a group that began with nothing and ended with much more than anyone would expect, and current leader of AMN, another great group, the only way of achieving success is just follow one simple rule; do the scene a favor and don't create anymore useless trading groups. If you really want to start a new group, you should make sure you have the necessary resources before doing so, such as GOOD couriers, and so on. Sites are not as much a big concern as couriers; just go trade on sites that belong to other groups and go rock the groups on their own sites. I see way too many groups out there, that say stuff like "oh who cares, maybe we'll fluke out and do good" and well, that's wrong. If your group is already shitty and you do fluke out and get a good courier, what might happen is the good courier goes to a group that he should belong to, and once again your groups is dying. Why not contribute to a good group when you can rather than open your own group and get ragged on and all that shit? If you really have nothing to contribute, then maybe you should start climbing up the ladder; don't open a new group just because the bigger groups don't let you in. If you open a new group for that reason, you're only making the scene worse and even uglier than it already is. If you really want to be a leader, open a local group or something and don't bring that type of trash into the scene, because that's what we really don't need. Maybe some time in the near future, there will be some sort of "League of Trading Groups" and maybe they will be able to referee all types of political shit going on in the scene. The way i see it right now, couriering groups are getting kind of messy; they should have some sort of organization between them, not only inside them. In other words, we need some sort of 'government' established between couriering groups. After all, all big gangs have some sort of government because it is organized crime; isn't pirating a type of organized crime as well? =) And in the games scene, there already is the SPA or FBI or whatever you call those dudes who sit together in conferences once per week to discuss rules and shit; that might be a reason why the games groups are thinking twice before they release so that junk won't be released. That is the type of government that couriering groups require as well, so that all the cheap shit going on such as stealing sites, couriers, ragging, and all that will be solved. Silent M”bius [AMN/PWA/RAZOR] ---=[ Articles - Loyalty? (Lester[aglover@ix.netcom.com]) ]=------------------- Loyalty, you hear the word often, but many clearly do not know the meaning or the amount of character it shows in the people who have it, and the clear lack of character in those that dont. More recently than in the past you see a young courier, get a break in a group, then all of a sudden he is the top dog , trading machine, all the groups want him. Does he stay? or does he go to another group offering him something better or possibly a better group overall? That is the direct test of loyalty. Very rarely will you see that young courier choose to stay with the group that got him where he is today. They will usually move on and forget the people that helped him. The same is true in all aspects of the scene, suppliers and boards. In the past, you would see someone in the same group since the first day he entered the scene to the day he exited. The epitomy of loyalty. Now, people go through groups weekly, jumping wherever their egos will take them. The reason? Some say it's because they get an ego, some say it's because they are kids and dont know any better. But the fact of the matter is, they just dont know what loyalty is. Professionalism and respect for the people who have helped you and trained you, are all but non-existant in the scene today. You can usually count on one hand the number of truly loyal people in your group or around you. C'mon people, wake up! ---=[ Articles - The Theft of Resources (Lester[aglover@ix.netcom.com]) ]=----- Recently more and more groups have gone to the tactic of "stealing" couriers, suppliers, sites, and boards to improve their group or just for the sole reason of hurting the other group. Awhile back this happened of course, but it was less frequent, and ties between groups kept the peace and everyone was working to bring the warez to the scene. Not to boost their egos or rip other groups apart for fun. There are numerous examples of those groups in each area of the scene, utils, games and couriers. It seems that everyone has lost sight of the idea behind this thing we call a hobby. It is supposed to be fun, and a way to get programs without having to pay. Now it seems everyone is out to be top dog no matter what the cost. Releases such as Mastercam 5.0 when 6.0 is the latest version, or the brilliant Font packs for credits. Or even better the childrens books and games. Yet, even when most groups will get around to a REAL title, usually they will not go to the trouble of describing or even testing and cracking the release to make sure it works before racing it out to the net. Everyday you see at LEAST 1 fix for something released in the past day or 2. This is much more noticeable in the games scene as they are less frequent and more in demand. Games such as ID4, and the 4 meg zips just to keep it under 50 disks. The question here is why? What is the point in making a fool out of yourself and releasing something that no one will be able to use or have a use for? The answer? Credits, meggage, everyone wants to be a top notch net courier, so they find whatever they can ranging from their daddies graphics to their kid sisters gamees.There are exceptions of course, a few of the older groups still remember that quality and working releases do count for something. The point I'm trying to get across, is that this all needs to stop, at least to some extent. The crap releases can be controlled, it started with the banning of RLX releases, now it needs to continue by banning other groups who release more shit than anything. Nuking times 3 credits to teach couriers lessons. Whatever it takes, but something needs to be done, otherwise what is the point? It will eventually come down to nothing worthwhile being released at all. ---=[ Rumors ]=---------------------------------------------------------------- Rumors are spreading that a ban on Mortality releases on all major sites will go into effect soon. This coming after MTY has repeatedly duped, faked, and broke releases. Also after declaring war with DOD, it is rumored that DOD will take some actions against MTY. - Reliable sources Rumors are floating around that a God in RAZOR is going to remove a quality courier. This coming after the courier chose not to leave his current group and goto the Razor God's new group. Will Razor remove a good courier over something like this? - Game group member It is rumored that a few of the Risc sites are complaining about support from the group and are looking at other possibilities. - A SiteOp And finally, much like the games scene, it is rumored a utils "council" will be forming to deal with the state of the utils scene. - Reliable sources - Got a rumor? Mail it in. ---=[ Reviews - Games On Review ]=--------------------------------------------- Welcome to Games On Review (GOR) We had very short notice that we were going to be doing this (less than a day!) so please check out the next GOR where it will be MUCH nicer and more organized. Thanks, J&V Three Skulls of Toltecs [o1/31] _ ________________________ _____ ________ _ \\_____ \_____ \_____ \/ . \\_____ \\ dZG/\ __// _ |/ ____/. | \/\ __/ _/ \ \/ /_ _/ /_ | ! _/ \ \ \____\ \______\_________|_____\____\ \_ =======\___/===ù1911ùCDùDIVISION ù======\___/ Jag-o's Review ---------------- First of all this is a cartoon like game, which i usually like! This just SUCKS though! Its like those old King's Quest games but it takes place in the old west. You just walk around in the desert looking for clues. This game should be dead just like the old west. VenToR's Review ----------------- This game is geared more towards kids. The animations and graphics are cartoons. It is like a kids king quest, although some of the text may be funny, it gets pretty boring pretty quick. A must get for parents with children. But if you are over 10 dont bother with the download. Jag-o's Rating | Overall Rating | VenToR's Rating | XXXXX | XXXXXXX | XXXXXXXXX | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 | GENERAL CHAOS ][ (C) SEGA PC [o1/22] -[10/08/96]------------------------- íí ííííí ííííí # # # # Australian ---- -- ---- Elite # # # # Force ç ç ççççç ç[g!] -[10/08/96]------------------------- Jag-o's Review ---------------- I was looking forward to trying this one out especially because I loved the first one. To my surprise it DID NOT work! First i fixed some mis-spelled words in the bat file, still NOTHING! I tried lots of stuff but it wouldn't work! This is a bad thing for a new release group! VenToR's Review ----------------- Well it didn't work. Plain and simple. The .Bat File was messed up everything I tried didn't work. I was about to scream, 22 disks for nothing. I also heard it was a fake and there was some ceaserII text stuff and more from old games in the gc2.exe. Jag-o's Rating | Overall Rating | VenToR's Rating | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 | Final Notes ------------- This is our first time at reviewing games and we had VERY short notice :) From now on we will be reviewin EVERY game that comes out on a weekly basis This reviews are only the opinions by TWO people, we do not let ANYONE influence our decisions. Please check us out the next time when u will get a a good clean review. If you would like to get in contact with either one of us just look for Jag-o or VenToR on IRC. ---=[ Reviews - Mail-in Reviews ]=--------------------------------------------- Score Chart: 1/10 - Lame as Fuck, Should be Nuked on Every Site, Board, and HD 2/10 - Still Lame as Fuck, but if your really really bored, can provide 5 minutes worth of entertainment 3/10 - Not quite lame as fuck, but close to it. Still only if your really bored 4/10 - Almost Kinda Good, worth the D/L if you like whatever kind of game it is 5/10 - Fairly Good, If your lookin for something to do, check it out 6/10 - Good game, check it out if you don't have any games to play 7/10 - Good quality solid game, should check it out if your a game fan 8/10 - Same as 7 just a little bit better 9/10 - Damn Good Game, Check it out if you got time 10/10 - The BEST, get it while its hot! Reviews for Justina: - Star Fighter 3000 - Hybrid Ok well, this game pretty much sucked. poor graphics, poor gameplay, and poor sound quality. This game is a flight sim, you fly around blow shit up etc. Just like any other flight sim, cept this one sucks.. :) My Score - 2/10 - Crusader - No Regret Full CD [COREDUMP] [25 Disks] Well this game is about as exciting as Pong. The game is basically you walk around and shoot people. You can't walk and shoot at the same time. So you have to walk, stop, shoot. Lame graphics. No intro, so there's like no idea what the fuck the objective is. Overall a poor game, not worth wasting your 25 disks of credits. Rating : 3/10 - Striker 96 [HYBRID] [18 Disks] Well I have to hand it to Hybrid, this is a very nice soccer game. Although it takes some getting used to in the control, the graphics are pretty good and the overall play is good, only bad thing is that it autoselects what guy you use, so that's kinda confusing. But if you like soccer get this game. Rating: 8/10 - Gene Wars [RAZORCD] [29 Disks] Well it's always fun to download a 29 disk game and find out it doesn't even work. The reason? Poor packaging I'd have to say. It seems in their rush to get it out they corrupted one of the RAR files and so it wont install. Too bad tho, sounded like a good game. Rating: NA/10 (Won't install) ---=[ Closing - Cya in the next issue (Lurch[apd@openix.com]) ]=--------------- We'll hope to see you reading the next issue. If you wish to flame - be our guest. We like to laugh, and most flames are humorous, as you well know. If you wish to express your opinions about something publically - no better place to do it then in INQ. So write in! All adds are welcome - but none will be published that may compromise scene security. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool. process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated are. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registeredtrademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. Terms are subject to change without notice. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article is provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy FUn Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinute use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness, Tingling in extremities, Loss of balance or coordination, Slurred speech, Temporary blindness, Profuse Sweating, or Heart palpitations. If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and it's parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Other restrictions may apply. This supersedes all previous notices. ---=[ Closing - Contacting INQuisition ]=-------------------------------------- Any member of INQuisition can be contacted by writing to apd@openix.com - if you are writing to a particular member, please be sure to specify which one in the subject/header of your letter. Most articles have an e-mail address next to the title, in those cases you may contact the author privately. We welcome any comments, and reject all flames, unless of course they're funny enough to publish. We reserve the right to publish any e-mail sent to us. You may e-mail subscribe to INQuisition by mailing apd@openix.com, you can also indulge in reading INQuisition on the world wide web by pointing your favorite browser to HTTP://WWW.OPENIX.COM/~apd/inq. You can also always find a copy of any, including the latest, INQuisitions by FTPing to landslide.openix.com port 1234 login INQ password . ---=[ The End - (c) 1996 INQ Staff - Support the scene ]=----------------------